Christian Dating in a Secular World
Let’s face it. The Bible’s standards on dating and the World’s standards are completely opposite. Turn on your television, go to a movie, or read a book, and you will see the differences. The Bible teaches that intimacy should be saved for marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
1 Timothy 5: 1 Treat younger men as brothers.
1 Timothy 5:2 Treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
There are many passages similar to these about dating and respecting the opposite sex. Women should not date a man because he looks hot, has a fancy car, and buys them anything they want. A man should not date a woman just to get her into bed. Christian dating puts an emphasis on setting your heart toward God first and then finding a mate.
But the world tells us that we should sleep with people by the first date. I’ve had friends tell me that I should see if the guy is “any good” before we get married, because that can end a relationship. My thoughts are this, if the marriage is based on how well one performs in bed, the foundation is faulty and will eventually crumble anyways.
So, how are single Christians supposed to date in a world that tells us we’re wrong in our thinking?
First and foremost, we must ground our minds on placing our relationship with God first. That means studying the Bible and researching God’s words on dating. You must also be prepared to tell a man or woman “No” when they try and persuade you to go against God’s word. This could mean ending a relationship with someone you truly like. I’ve had to do that before.
Things to look for on the first date:
1. Is he or she a Christian? Don’t forget about the unequally yoked comment from a few weeks ago.
2. Does he or she treat you with the respect you deserve? For women- is the guy checking out your cleavage, making sexual remarks, or does he compliment your beauty and hold a real conversation? For men- does she ask about your income, make sexual remarks, or is she interested in your personality and appreciates your company?
3. Do you have anything in common? Talk about hobbies, jobs, favorite movies, likes and dislikes…etc. Get to know the person instead of sizing them up according to the world’s standards. Are they the type of person who will make you laugh when you want to cry, be the shoulder you can cry on, or celebrate with you when things are great?
4. At the end of the date (and subsequent dates), does he or she try to get intimate? A kiss or holding hands is fine depending on your personal beliefs, but beware of someone who gropes you.
Dating is hard, especially if you’re a Christian, but always hold to God’s Promise!
Isaiah 34: 16
Seek and read from the book of the Lord, Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. For the mouth of the Lord has commanded, and his Spirit has gathered them.
Let’s face it. The Bible’s standards on dating and the World’s standards are completely opposite. Turn on your television, go to a movie, or read a book, and you will see the differences. The Bible teaches that intimacy should be saved for marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
1 Timothy 5: 1 Treat younger men as brothers.
1 Timothy 5:2 Treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
There are many passages similar to these about dating and respecting the opposite sex. Women should not date a man because he looks hot, has a fancy car, and buys them anything they want. A man should not date a woman just to get her into bed. Christian dating puts an emphasis on setting your heart toward God first and then finding a mate.
But the world tells us that we should sleep with people by the first date. I’ve had friends tell me that I should see if the guy is “any good” before we get married, because that can end a relationship. My thoughts are this, if the marriage is based on how well one performs in bed, the foundation is faulty and will eventually crumble anyways.
So, how are single Christians supposed to date in a world that tells us we’re wrong in our thinking?
First and foremost, we must ground our minds on placing our relationship with God first. That means studying the Bible and researching God’s words on dating. You must also be prepared to tell a man or woman “No” when they try and persuade you to go against God’s word. This could mean ending a relationship with someone you truly like. I’ve had to do that before.
Things to look for on the first date:
1. Is he or she a Christian? Don’t forget about the unequally yoked comment from a few weeks ago.
2. Does he or she treat you with the respect you deserve? For women- is the guy checking out your cleavage, making sexual remarks, or does he compliment your beauty and hold a real conversation? For men- does she ask about your income, make sexual remarks, or is she interested in your personality and appreciates your company?
3. Do you have anything in common? Talk about hobbies, jobs, favorite movies, likes and dislikes…etc. Get to know the person instead of sizing them up according to the world’s standards. Are they the type of person who will make you laugh when you want to cry, be the shoulder you can cry on, or celebrate with you when things are great?
4. At the end of the date (and subsequent dates), does he or she try to get intimate? A kiss or holding hands is fine depending on your personal beliefs, but beware of someone who gropes you.
Dating is hard, especially if you’re a Christian, but always hold to God’s Promise!
Isaiah 34: 16
Seek and read from the book of the Lord, Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. For the mouth of the Lord has commanded, and his Spirit has gathered them.